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Nothing

by Nalani Proctor

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    First pressing. 12" vinyl. Random colors. 33 1/2 rpm. Full color jacket and label. Comes with lyric sheet and sticker.

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  • This special art book showcases artwork from 11 artists paired to each song on the album. Each artist was asked to create a piece based on their own interpretation of the song given to them. The books are hand bound by Nalani with random fabrics. Comes with CD and digital download.

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  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    Grey Tri-blend Tee. Gold screen-print of Nalani and her lovable (but judgmental) cat Luna. Gold stamped lettering. Design by Bee Frese. Hand screen printed by Nalani, with every shirt being just a little different, with love.
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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 13 Nalani Proctor releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of It's Too Late, Vasalisa, Voorhees, you were right, hold my hand, Green is the Grass, what's happening?, They Say I Look and Sound Like Joan Baez, But Do I Really?, Nothing, and 5 more. , and , .

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1.
Little Bird 04:09
Little Bird, little bird don’t fly take your wing on another night how the clouds tell tales about you and the stars pair off in twos take your wing in the morning light gather all but your twigs and twine and the moment you fly true will be on the morning dew And go, go with all of your heart to the places of starting anew, start anew Go, take on all other worlds, the invention of heaven and hell can’t hold you Little bird, little bird don’t fly take your wing, but don’t say goodbye How we’ll miss your beautiful tunes as you sang the morning blues And the whisper on the wind, will awake your soul again it will take your soul to the end little bird, little bird don’t fly little bird, little bird, don’t.
2.
I wake up, struggle out of bed, the ghosts fade away as I wander lonely hallways push the curtains back, shower after a week and I say, tomorrow will be the day But tomorrow never comes, tomorrow waves from the other side of my heart but I keep hoping that I can start tomorrow I wake up, today is a new day but I’m finding it harder to keep my mind awake pacing back and forth, no thoughts will come to me so I’ll wait until the next sleep I’m a prisoner of my mind, a labyrinth of time and the fire deep inside, has almost gone dry, but I hope
3.
Opinions 03:11
I was stuck in between two souls suffocating to get out placating my existence traveling further to stay out of my head, the distance was never far enough, he said remember the Alamo? No. A forward spelled out lightly, in the dark and on the ground the anger is surprised me welling with the fiercest tongue but I am not a loud babe hiding behind someone else I wish I could be one. How can I be one? Not to be confused form your own opinions I am not a muse nor am I a villain not to be confused form your own opinions, your own opinions Now days they are so gloomy exit strategies are for the universal movie that I wish I could have starred in I’ve grown quite weary holding on to memories, am I the only one? I couldn’t be the one. Let out the beast let her grow
4.
Cogwork 03:02
The sound you make is biting my heart to pieces, writhing awake, away the window to fly open, the long way down. And I know how to go through the motions, but something in the cog work won’t let me progress The burning pierce of freedom with pokes and prods, no reason the cage, a staged emotion to want to go back to that down forward, to the edge of my life to the edge of my time
5.
The Fool 04:21
I could manage more if this is how you keep the score and after all is said, you’d rather be left in your head Remembering silence, it’s not the game you’d like to play, but your so good Champion of silence, and after all the metal glints your smile pick a card, the fools beguiling you I could find the start, if you would pay attention while obsessing over truths that hide themselves in clear plain view Deciding the triumph, it’s not a loss you’d like to claim but you will take Champion of silence, and after all, the medal glints your eyes pick a star, the fool’s beguiling you Deciding what’s the biggest step towards the infinite The infinite is calling all the shots and we’re pretending that we’re in control but we all know, the fates have chosen you, the fool I could manage more if this is how you keep the score and after all is said, you’d rather be left in your head Remembering silence, it’s not the game you’d like to play, but your so good Champion of silence, and after all the metal glints your smile you’ve picked a card, the fool’s beguiled you now you’re the fool
6.
You see me in the morning pulling at the seams of the nightmares telling stories brushing them beneath Crying hide, though winter’s find is visiting my bones tonight aching soul and baited breath hoping to catch a quivered lip I see you in the morning reaching for the stream of redemption by the glory that other people see Crying, no don’t look at me the relics pushing through the cracks asking more the energy is hotter closer to the back Of every little morning every little warning
7.
I know I shouldn’t put much stock in my astrology birth chart but, I can’t wait to find out why I am the way I am I am not okay I will be, okay? As if the sun and moon could change my ways and outward appearance I could be so happy living free under star light of me I am not okay I will be, okay? Twenty years of messed up fears, you’d think I’d learn by now to let it out, not push it down but then they’ll know my crowning achievements, in disaster, See? So now I know my own, my Leo, Cancer, Capricorn thorns that stick into my eyes and heart and back track to where I was I am not okay I will be, okay? I am not okay I will be, okay?
8.
You wait for everything to start loading around you as if the world were on your phone breaking as you expound on current events a little too late, behind the get You wait for everything to slow in hopes of catching up the miles between the here and now are troubling to decide if you should ever try like a fire, smothering life you wait for everything to stop pulling you into screens of cotton candy, popcorn popped and soda streams from your feet and the movie begins when will it end? it never ends. You wait for everything to start.
9.
Go to Sleep 05:33
Go to Sleep, in your dreams you are free In your dreams you are free in your dreams you are who you should be Go to sleep, in the night you will follow your wings and your wings will lift you to your dreams and your dreams, you will be, who will be? All to late, summer night the simmering sides, in a waking moment, you were gone But the happiest time was the memories of your eyes, bright awoken dreaming light After all, shooting star you’ve come so far, the moment is around the bend But the earth plays it’s tricks on us stumbling further past, the point we’ll never find it here Who will be the night sky? As the birds delight by singing your death and the sun surprises passing by, with clouds, and clouds rain down the truth
10.
Mighty Bird 03:57
I don’t know if you have heard stories of the giant bird that pulled the sun across the sky and buried fear in the mountains nigh. But one day that fear arose hiking down the mountain pose the town below didn’t hear it come and soon it held them hostage in their homes And the mighty bird swooped down in threes to carry away fear and its deeds. In the morning light that bird did sing of hope Morning comes again we see wings afloat with clouds and trees a hymn was softly spoke, and in that song we were awoke And the mighty bird swooped down in threes to carry away fear and its deeds. In the morning light that bird did sing of hope
11.
I notice the cemetery stones at night how they gleam in the moonlight, and call me by name they ask will you stay, and dance on everyone’s grave And I say, I will stay with you I notice the mausoleum standing upright It arched it’s cruel back, and began to ignite the trees asking for beer, for anything alcohol And I say, I won’t bring you anymore I notice an angel all alone on the path It cowers behind stones, and silently laughs It asks will you go, and bring back an enemy And I say, I’d rather stay here with you

about

"Nothing" is a labor of love, of suffering, of indifference, of patience. Over the past 5 years, Nalani Proctor wrote songs to celebrate poignant milestones and defuse devastating heartbreaks, then began to record, making it a point to do it herself. "At one point, about two years ago, I was like "I can just do it, right? I can just get some equipment, and make this thing in my basement, or office, or bedroom. I don't need to rely on people, well, not until I have to (for the instruments I can't play)." The quirk and breadth of the home recording shows, but what's not so surprising is her ability to evoke the emotions of the lyrics by her voice, often layering her own to create the upbeat surf rock sounds in "Writer's Block" and "Cogwork", or the unbearably sad and languid characters against sparse instrumentation in "The Fool" and "Lonely". One of her favorite songs on the record, "Cemetery Stones", ends the album with harsh acoustic guitar, interspersed with tonal pops of auxiliary percussion at just the right moments to bring the characters to life. "This last one is a true coming of age tale, in three verses," says Proctor. "The album, as a whole, grows with you, as you listen to it. You travel through a depressive episode, into mania, into being okay. Pretty much puberty, right? It's like my own John Hughs film, except no one gets the girl."

credits

released June 22, 2018

Music and Lyrics written by Nalani Proctor.
Performance, Recording, and Mixing by Nalani Proctor.
Mastering by Adam Tucker at Signaturetone Recording

Additional instruments:
Cello (tracks 5, 6, 9) - Griffen Clark
Violin (track 6, 7) - Nikola Sorak
Trumpet (track 9) - Damon Cackley
Trombone (track 9) - Elsa Pietscher, Bindi Gosney, Steve Nash
Cat Bell (Track 9) - Porridge (the cat)

Album Artwork by: Kayla Lowman

Special Thanks to: Dustin Neill, Luna (the cat), Lana and Dan Proctor, Kayla Lowman, Canyon McCarty, Brandon Rubio, Alex Crist, Ashley Stott, Kait and Scarlet Payne, Brian Serway, Delia Rainey, Payel Kundu, Carey Dunn, Rex Hicks, Anna Jones Hughes, Chris Hall, Cory Peak, Mollie Piatetsky, CoMo Girls Rock! and Iowa City Girls Rock!, and all my friends, family, bands I've played with, and venues that have accepted me with open arms.

Dedicated to Mama D (Debbie Neill RIP)

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Nalani Proctor Keokuk, Iowa

Nalani Proctor is a solo songwriter based in Iowa. Growing up in the small towns of Keokuk, IA, and Kahului, HI shaped her love of music, and sharing stories, but also pulled her in opposing directions of belonging, never quite fitting in as Hapa Hawaiian. Now, she's carving her own way. ... more

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