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Wandering Heart

by Nalani Proctor

/
1.
I shouldn't wake up today, but I know if I stay any longer, I'll regret what I said and I'll lose all control of my candor. But it's hard, so hard to stay awake. And it's hard, so hard to stay sane. And I wish it weren't so tame, in this heart. As the hands move around your face and the seconds turn into hours, I keep dreaming of that special place when our time stood still for just a moment. And it's hard so hard to stay the same. And it's hard, so hard to not pass blame. But I can't stand how this heart can be so tame, it's never the same. And I try to think about how I want to, I try to speak about how I can't live life with out you.
2.
Found 03:36
I'm looking past the window and all I can see is a guilty me. And standing all around me, people are laughing and pointing at all they see. And I try so hard to not be noticed while I fall apart to pieces, no one could replace this heart, except the only one around, the one I've found. I run until I can't run further than a stone's throw away from your front gate. And yell until you meet me halfway between id and ego and the summer's escapes. And I try so hard to not be noticed while I fall apart to pieces, no one could replace this heart, except the only one around, the one I've found.And I wish I could remember how to say it again, with out you looking over all we've said and done, together is better than nothing, better than nothing, better than nothing at all. Standing all alone now, I can see reflections of the feelings that used to be and how it could be better, if I could keep my own eyes at my feet. And I try so hard to not be noticed while I fall apart to pieces, no one could replace this heart, except the only one around, the one I've found.
3.
I tried to tell you that I'm sorry but you're not here, and when I roll back to my right side the visions of the end are near but I don't care. And after years and years of regret you know it's true, and I would try to be the one to tell you but I wouldn't dare cause you're not here. And I wake up in the morning, just to hold you close to me, but the sound of moving silence, captures me. And when I walk down to the kitchen I know you were there, cause everything we built is broken, and all I see are common stairs towards the part. And I'll just sit there waiting patiently for your cares to catch up, willing you to come home but I know that it was unfair for truth to start. And if tomorrow, without warning, you shouldn't come, I know I saved the right moment, before breaking the wrong one around your heart. I will wait there silently til the cobwebs come, a mannequin waiting for charming to remind her she wasn't the one to awake, I know.
4.
Reminisce 02:51
It's like I used to say, Every diamond has it's way, while we walk towards the sun, it'll keep moving and moving on. It's like I used to say, When the wind blows I won't pray, as the sun sets so does the moon, for you and I and a big apple pie are soon. It's like I used to say, After morning there won't be another day, even though the sun stays high, I know you won't and neither will I. It's like I used to say, I love you, please don't stay, cause when the stars finally shine on you, your eyes make me cry.
5.
The way you look tonight, I'm overcome by memories of hope and what we've won. And tonight I will dream of the one. You look so longingly, I can't begin to hold your image in, my only friend. And tonight I will come around the bend with my heart in my hands, just to send off with your, Eyes are light, your head is not right, but I'll hold you so close with out care.

about

My heart on my sleeve, where it should be.

credits

released October 12, 2012

Nalani Proctor: Voice, Guitar
Troy Morgan: Bass
Nikola Sorak: Violin
Jason Bolinger: Drums
Diana Garles: Trumpet
Engineered by: Jason Bolinger
Speak Up Records, 2012

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Nalani Proctor Keokuk, Iowa

Nalani Proctor is a solo songwriter based in Iowa. Growing up in the small towns of Keokuk, IA, and Kahului, HI shaped her love of music, and sharing stories, but also pulled her in opposing directions of belonging, never quite fitting in as Hapa Hawaiian. Now, she's carving her own way. ... more

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